neck hurts, heart's worse

I visited my dad this weekend. We saw National Treasure and it was really good but it sucked that I had to go pee really badly for the last 20 minutes. My dad kept talking about how rough a month he and my stepmom had had. We went out to lunch and they talked about it, I was doing my homework and they taked about it. It kind of hit me this weekend. Like now I finally realize that my aunt and grandfather are dead. Not alive. Gone. I feel like I don't know. My heart actually hurts though. It feels different. I was sad when I went on a date with a guy I really liked and he said he didn't want a second date, but my heart didn't feel like this. It's heavy. I understand now. It's very cliché, but it's completely true. It's like everything bad is making it's way to the front of my mind. Like my poor cousin that only had two girls show up to her birthday party this weekend. My neck really hurts. No matter how I bend it. I don't want to be sad. But I . My stepmom said it perfectly, life goes on, sometimes you're sad and sometimes you're not... I just feel sad now. I should go to bed early. But first I should eat some birthday cake. I'm not hungry but I'll probably feel better.